A Wanderer's Phobia - Roe's Advertising Campaign Short

Roe looks away from the clipboard, having examined the paper for a good ten minutes. Alpha stares at him blankly, an eyebrow raised. Roe doesn't seem to notice, and after thirty seconds, begins whistling and leaning on a rock nearby, careful not to stain his jacket with the blood of fallen Fire Geckos. Alpha clears his throat promptly, grabbing both the equine-human thing and Roe's attention. Roe smacks himself on the forehead. "I'm a dork," he mutters, walking over to Alpha, reaching into his coat pocket.
"Yeah, you are," Alpha states plainly as Roe hands him a tin of Mentats. "What are we supposed to be doing, exactly?"
Roe shrugs. Apparently, Mick wants us to do something with Mentats, considering that he got this new shipment of, like, hundreds of them." He makes a wide gesture with his hands. "Huge. Said he could turn some profit if some people knew about how 'useful' they could be." Roe hunches over and waves his arms around. "They make people smeeeert!" Alpha raises an eyebrow once again, confused. Receiving not but laugh from Roe and a dorky grin he can't see past his mask, he turns to the gray horse-human, Derpy.
"So, uh, Derpy. I guess she'd be the best test sub-"
"Hi!" Derpy interrupts, waving a hand in his face. Alpha hesitates for a moment and pushes it away slowly and carefully.
"Yeah. Here, eat some of these, I guess." He reluctantly hands the Mentats to Derpy, who gasps and begins fluttering in the air, taking the tin of drugs and shoving them in her mouth whole. Alpha and Roe stare wide-eyed at her. She shrugs. "Not bad, I guess. I mean - Alpha! Your sonic emitter!" She suddenly lands, grabbing Alpha's energy weapon from his holster. She begins fiddling with it, stripping it of metal shells and tubes, the litter falling down the hill.
"Hey! Stop it!" Alpha scolds, pointing a finger. "Bad! Don't do that!" Derpy shrugs in reply, aiming the weapon which was now simply wires and diodes at her own face, grinning from ear to ear. Alpha cringes as she shoots herself, and Roe simply laughs, both of their visions being filled with an immense spark.
When the two can see again, a miniature Derpy stands in front of Alpha, standing on one foot and balancing her rifle in one hand. "I made a shrink ray, Alphie!"
Alpha waves his hands in surprised gestures, slumping over for a moment. "You know what - fuck it, I'm buying some Mentats." He waves his hands dismissively and begins to turn, just as Derpy flies onto his shoulder.
"She gonna know how to fix herself, boss?" Roe cackles as Alpha shrugs in reply.
"Maybe."
Derpy clears her throat. "Simple. All I have to do is wait approximately six hours, forty three minutes and eleven point nintey three seconds for the effect of shrinking to wear off."
Alpha buries his face in his hands. "Spontaneous, too. Surprised you ain't addicted to that shit, Roe."